Confidence

I am going to make an effort to blog a bit more than I have been doing recently as I do actually find it therapeutic. Had a good week so far food wise, hoping I can keep this almost saintly behaviour ready for Monday's weigh in.

Confidence in my ability and in my looks has always been a major issue with me, as in I've never had any at all. I actually think I might have inherited this trait from my mum, as she has very similar issues. I have always hated the way I look no matter what weight I have been (even from a very young age), and I just kind of accepted that that is how I would always feel about myself. However, I have always tried to dress "nice" for want of a better way of putting it, and liked to do funky things with my hair. I like to look a little bit different as you can probably tell from my hair! There has now been some new developments in my confidence though, I now have some. I have found my self recently wearing stuff that I previously wouldn't have dared to, and not being as bothered about what other people may think or say. One of my close friends once commented a good while ago, on how she'd love to have the confidence to wear things the way that I do. I admitted that I actually worry about what to wear in certain situations, and that day I had changed my top no less than 6 times before I left the house. I was only going into York for a coffee!!! I'm not sure if this is a confidence issue, or an indecisiveness issue. I'm probably just crazy....

This boost in confidence has pushed me even more into pursuing a career as a teacher. I have always wanted to do it, but after leaving uni I just got a job and got used to the regular money. I've got to the stage now where I think that if I don't do it now I never will. I have looked at various options and have decided to just do it and be a student again. Mr B says that what ever I decide to do, he will support me. A friend has recently started the course and loves it, and knowing their personality I know that if they can do it, I definitely can!

The atmosphere at work at the moment is not great, which is definitely pushing me even more. The stress and the pressure in a job I don't even like have helped me make up my mind on this one!

The gym is really helping me to de-stress at the moment, and I actually felt the "natural high" after exercise the other day. Now this was something new as I've never experienced this before at all. The characters at the gym do distract me from my work out though as I'm a naturally nosey person.

We have yet another busy weekend ahead of us again. We are off to York tomorrow with my youngest sister and my Grandma. They are then staying over Saturday night. Mr B has promised me a present from one of my favourite shops instead of an Easter egg! Can't say fairer than that I don't think! Not sure what the plan is food wise yet though, a late lunch in one of our favourite places will put us on until Sunday I think!

Sunday is the family meal at the Italian around the corner from us. I say family but my middle sister is moving on Sunday so she and her boyfriend aren't coming. Just means there's more garlic bread to go around! Not sure what to eat there, although I do have lots of points left so I might treat myself.

Getting excited as Mr B is picking me up from work soon and we are going on a very exciting trip to get a cable for his computer hahahahaha. Although whilst we are in the shopping centre I think I'll try and get measured up for a bra seen as my other favourite now has to go in the bin!

Lex xx