Bye Bye May

Where has the month of May gone, anyone seen it? I'm sure it was still Christmas the last time I checked!! Into the 6th month tomorrow which is crazy!!! I hope you're all enjoying your Bank Holiday, I'm stuck at work today as the company I work for just count it as a normal day the meanies! No one else is in so I managed to get all my work done by 11am and have been doing some well deserved catching up on the lovely blogs that I follow on the "blog roll" as well as others that aren't (Lou that's you that is :D).


Another loss of 1lb this week, so at least it's coming off. I'm now at 15st 12lb. Not sure if its time for me to drop/go down a point now, I'm sure the bossy points tracker will prompt me tonight if it is.


Had a good weekend food and exercise wise. Lots of walking and the gym and lots of lovely food that wasn't too high in points. I did go over by 4 on Saturday but that's due to the fact that the lemon tart I was serving our friends looked so damn scrummy! Which it was and I reeeeeeeally enjoyed it too. The points I'd saved during the week covered this though so everything was fine. Mr B made a chili with quorn mince on Saturday for our night of pretending to be civilised and grown up by having people round for dinner. Lauren who was coming round is a veggie so it took a while for us to find something that we'd all eat, in the end we bit the veggie bullet and went with quorn for the 4 of us. I was very surprised at how nice it was, so was Mr B who was a bit worried he'd miss the meat. I might let him make it again lol.


Saturday was a nice busy day, got lots of boring stuff like house work done but also my smoothie maker arrived! No I've only just got into making smoothies as I tried one a few years ago and I really didn't like the texture of it. I think it was because I thought it would taste like a milkshake seen as it looked like one. I was channel hopping the other night and stumbled across a shopping channel that was demonstrating the most super dooper blender type thingies you could ever imagine, they also came at a super dooper price too. I'd been thinking of trying a smoothie recently, seeing that blender along with reading a blog about making them too (http://losingalittlebitofme.blogspot.com/) inspired me to have a go. I braved Asda after work for my supplies and came home to be creative! What can I say, I am a convert! So much so that I have even invested in a "Smoothie2Go" as my little hand blender really didn't like the frozen fruit! Here's a picture of it:

The recipe that I've made up myself is only 2 points and it's very filling. Mr B is complaining about the amount of fruit that is now in our freezer though!

We had a nice stroll about in Leeds on Sunday afternoon. I went to get my next charm for my bracelet and to try on a dress for size that I have seen for our friend's wedding. It's a gorgeous dress although due to the style of it they advise you to get a size or two bigger. I'm now a size 18, which I told the sales girl, she looked me up and down and said "you look like a 16 to me!". I could have kissed her! Well I tried one on, the 20 wouldn't do up at all, whereas the 22 should fit my the end of the month when I go buy one (stupid broad back!). It's strange to think that I've liked these dresses for years and if I'd gone to buy one at my starting weight, thinking they did up to a size 22, I wouldn't have even got it on my back. The shop is in one of my favourite parts of Leeds city centre in the Victoria Quarter. This is next to Harvey Nichols on Brigate. It's gorgeous, that's all I can say. I do love old buildings though. Mr B was feeling flush and decided to treat us to a drink in the Harvey Nichols espresso bar which is straight down the middle of the Victoria Quarter.

Lex xxx

Merci Beaucoup

Firstly I would like to say one GIANT THANK YOU to all you lovely ladies who commented on my last post. It really means a lot to me that I have such fantastic friends on here and a great support net work. Once again, Thank you!

Well I have had 2 more positive days all round. I've had a good week so far points and activities wise and I'm off to the gym again tonight. Quite getting into this exercise malarky! Mr B is coming too (as he bloody should seen as we're paying for both of us and only going!!), really looking forward to it. We must be quite funny to watch though as we arrive at the gym together, do what we need to do in them gym and then travel home together. To say how close we are we barely say a word to each other!

I've finally pulled my finger out and got the teaching application all filled out, it's now sat in my bag ready to be posted when I get home. Need to be brave and brave the scary kids that loiter outside the post office after school, I'll be thinking mean thoughts! Feeling a little apprehensive and nervous about it. All kinds of "what if" type jobbies running through my mind, but lets wait and see. I've done my best and I know I have, I really really want this!

I think in one of my very first posts I wrote about fitting into a dress that I hadn't worn for 6 years. Well here it is on me while we were in Cardiff....

I apologise for the fuzzyness of this, I took it on my phone! There are some clearer ones on the camera so I'll try and get them on here too.

Lex xxx

Frustration

I really do apologise now for this blog post but if I don't type then I feel I may explode.

Feeling very hurt and confused today. Mum's in a bad place at the moment mentally and physically and it's really really affecting me now too, which in turn is affecting me and Mr B. I'm a natural worrier which doesn't help matters, plus I do suffer from bouts of depression every so often. Well this time its hit big style.

I can't function properly or do anything properly. I feel worthless and stupid. Every time I ring mum up I don't get chance to talk about anything nice or other subjects apart from how she is feeling and how rubbish her day was/is and how tired and crap she feels. I feel very guilty for saying that and it hurts me. I'm not a selfish person by any stretch of the imagination but sometimes I feel like saying "what about me?". My mood instantly changes as soon as I hear her voice and pick up on how she is. I feel bad for moving out last year, but I love Mr B too much and I want us to be living together and I don't want to push him away.

I have spent a good while this morning just sat crying for no other reason than feeling sorry for myself and not seeing an end to this.

I keep having very dark and scary thoughts and dreams too which aren't helping. I'll not go into it on here as I don't think it's fair on my lovely blog friends.

Work isn't helping at all. I am running the building while my boss is out of the office which has been the whole month of May. Normally I can cope with this and everything is OK, but this time because of everything at home I can't cope. I go to bed dreading the next day at work even though in my heart of hearts I know I can do it.

I'm so so sorry for this, I'll be myself again soon I promise

Lex xxx

The Three C's

Well I'm back after a lovely week spent relaxing in Cardiff and at home. We had a great time and was lovely to spend some time completely away from everything back home.

The three C's as I mention in the title are Cardiff,co-workers and compliments but I'll get to that in a mo if that's ok.

First things first, weight loss! I had the dilemma as to what day to weigh in on so I went for the Saturday morning before we went. Was a good result with a 1 lb loss taking me to 16st dead on. I was dead chuffed with that! I tracked as best as I could all week and tried very very hard not to eat absolute crap like I normally would have done previously. This week's WI yesterday morning was a big shocker. Even with all the wine I had last week I managed to lose 1lb. So now my weight is 15st 13lb, that's 2 and a half stone GONE!!!! I'm feeling very proud.

Cardiff is lovely, we have now been there twice and really enjoyed it both times. We went off exploring and went to the bay, the millennium centre, a distillery and then to where Mr B's mum is originally from. It was brill. It was great to relax and get away from all the poop that is happening around us at home at the mo.

That brings me on to my second C, co-workers. All I can say is GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Yes that is now a word. They are all rubbish (I'm being polite, I wanted to put a swear word in). I have been off and have come back in to a weeks worth of work as no one else apparently knows how to do anything here. May I please repeat my earlier statement of GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Thank you.

Now to my nice C, compliments. So far this week, bearing in mind it's only Tuesday, I have had three compliments all regarding my weight. Two have been from people I haven't seen for a while at work, they both said that I was looking slim and gorgeous! How very kind! But my favourite is from my favourite person at work. He is very daft just like me, that's probably why we get on so well! He told me that now I have lost weight around my face my big gorgeous eyes looked even bigger. They now look like Disney princess eyes! It did make me chuckle.

My plan for this week is to keep on going and not lose the motivation that I have found. So far there's only Thursday night that might prove tricky but I'm sure it's nothing a bowl of my AMAZING Butternut squash soup at dinner time can't solve!

Lex xx

The Weekend Is here

The weekend is here again already! This week has flown by, and come to think of it May is flying by too. We are off to Cardiff on Saturday for a few days and I'm getting very excited, although yet again putting off the inevitable packing until the very very last minute! One bit of good news is that I can now get into the dress that I bought when I was 19 wore it twice and refused to get rid of cos I love it so much. Due this this amazing feat, the dress is coming away with us and Mr B has been informed that we need to go somewhere niiiiiiiiiiiice one of the nights that will appreciate my pretty dress, it all sounds fair to me!

This week has been manic at work and home yet again, holding the fort at work would be so much easier if there was no one else in the building! My brain is now officially mush, I even forgot how to spell my own name earlier!!! Cardiff can't come soon enough me thinks!!

Whilst on the subject of work, I have decided that I really should be doing what I have always wanted to do which is become a teacher. After speaking to some friends, I have decided that if they can do it then so can I. I already have my degree so in theory it should only take me a year to do the teaching certificate part, and the Open University will let me be as flexible as I need to be. The forms have been filled in, but I've left the hardest part which is trying to put into words why I want to teach. Hmmmm......

Bit of a boring week meals and point wise to be honest. We've been trying to use up what we have in the freezer and cupboards before we go away instead of buying stuff just for it to go off in the fridge. It's a good job I took charge with tea the other night as Mr B had plans for some very odd concoctions!!!

Really need to get back into cooking nice, low point meals again. Don't get me wrong, I've stuck to points and tracked everything but I don't feel like I've been eating healthy enough these past few weeks.

I'll hopefully have a few pics to put on here once we get back :)
Lex xx

It's Going!

My head really wasn't in the weight watchers zone last week at all, and it's one of the only times so far I've really wanted to sack it in and give up. But my dear gorgeous wonderful readers, I still managed to do something right as I managed to lose 1 lb! I'm very chuffed with this as with how I was feeling I didn't expect anything at all. I'm now at 16 stone 1 lb, a total of 2 stone 5 lb. I hope that if I work my bum off this week I can get into the 15 stone bracket for next weigh in.

On the subject of weigh in's, I'm in a bit of a pickle. We are going away on Saturday to Cardiff for a few days and we'll be away when I'm supposed to weigh in on Monday morning. We're back Thursday though. Now for my dilemma, do I weigh in Saturday before we go away or Thursday when we're back?? Pretty please, any advice would be great.

We had a lovely weekend, and I said I wouldn't moan about how tired I am so I won't (but I am hahahaha). York was packed so we did extra walking around all the tourists that were going at snail pace and stopping for no reason! Grrrrrrr! Tea was a treat of a curry out, which was GORGEOUS and very well deserved from what we'd been through earlier hahaha. I was very well behaved and had veg curry rather than what I really really wanted, although I could really taste all the oil in everything so I doubt I'd have enjoyed it that much.

Ikea was nice and un-eventful, just how I like it! Us girls were there before the Swedish mecca opened, and then we (obviously!) headed straight for the cafe! I was even saintly there and didn't give in to the cooked breakfast, although the amount of money that exchanged hands at the tills was far from saintly! Better go hide the IKEA receipt before Mr B finds it!

Before I go, I would just like to say a ginormous thank you to Angela and her blog which is :

http://secretselkie.blogspot.com/

She is a very very inspiring lady and I love reading her blog.

Lex xx

Back In The Zone!

After a couple of days where I've not really been with it at all, both weight watchers wise and home life wise, today feels like a better day. My head is definitely back into the WW zone, but not there with anything else really! But that's another matter.

Finally getting somewhere with Mum at the hospital now, she's had results back etc and is now discussing what needs to be the next course of action. I'd like to say that I can start relaxing a little bit now and not worry as much, but I wouldn't be me if wasn't worrying! It does really knacker me out though, doubt that any amount of snazzy make up could cover these eye bags! It'd probably just fill them up like the shopping bags they're now looking like!

Anyway, back to business! Like I said, I've had a couple of days where I've not been in the right frame of mind to be doing WW. That said, I have stuck to plan and pointed everything. It's took some effort I can tell you! The problem this week has been trying to fit exercise in. We went to the gym Monday night but that has been it. I've had my WW pedometer on all the time as per usual, but I have to say that even though I've been earning 2 or 3 points per day I'm slightly disappointed that it's not been the 5 or 6 that I've been getting when I've made the trip to the gym. But at least I'm moving which is something!!

Yet another busy weekend ahead, and I'm ashamed to say it's all my own doing. So when I'm moaning about how busy it's been please feel free to tell me you have no sympathy for me! Off to York tomorrow which I'm looking forward to, all apart from the bit where we're seeing the Bank Manager. But I think a trip into Cath Kidston to see all the pretty things might help me to get over it hahahahahaha. Then off to Ikea first thing Sunday morning with Mum, Grandma and Auntie Jayne. Looking forward to that too, although I know it'll be a long day as they're all coming back to mine. So with the girly outing members, then Dad, youngest sis and Mr B there'll be 7, yes 7 in our little flat!!!!! Blinking Heck!!! We only have 2 small settees and a foot stool that are comfy!!!

I better go work on my seating rota for Sunday.... 5 minutes in a comfy chair should be long enough I think!

Lex xxx

Embarrasment!

I need to get this off my chest as I found it so so so funny I had to have a sit down. As previous posts in this blog probably sugget, I'm a little bit daft and or crazy!

Well I know I have moaned about being inbetween sizes at the mo, but I bought a dress the other day which will last me a while as it has a stretchy waist band. "I know, I'll be brave and get some leggins for underneath" said the bright little voice in my head. So off I trotted to Primark and bought myself some very expensive £3 ones in a 16 and an 18. I thought they'd last me a while.... I got changed at work yesterday afternoon into my dress and size 18 leggins as I was meeting my friend at Meadowhall shopping centre for some tea and a wander round. I was feeling very pretty as I'd had compliments off a few people at work, so I practically floated to the car.

All was well until I'd parked up and started walking into Meadowhall... the leggins started working their way down my bum!!! Not just the bleeding leggins but my PANTS as well! It was bad enough that they were going but for my pants to follow suit was just annoying!!

So now I was in a bit of a qundry, which to sort out first? Do I waddle through Boots and hope for the best? Or do I start pulling them up and get barred from Meadowhall for indecent exposure??

I decided I was in quite a good position in Boots, from there I could easily get to 3 sets of toilets, Evans and Primark. So my plan of action was off to the toilets, take off the offending STUPID leggins, off to buy SMALLER PANTS, then to get SMALLER LEGGINS and back to a different toilet just so I wouldn't look weird!

My stealth mission went to plan all apart from me having a major attack of the giggles in the toilets so I then had to sit for 5 minutes to calm down! For added protection I even put my pants OVER the leggings to make sure they didn't budge!

I felt and looked like a total burke (well I did under the dress!)! I looked like a really rubbish superhero! I appologise to any one who may have witnessed my very classy waddle during this time. Needless to say, the size 18's will be going back. As my mum ever so kindly pointed out, once she had regained the ability to speak from laughing at me, they are stretchy and will only start the give even more!

Apart from this slight set back, the evening went lovely and we had a good old natter and put the world to rights as we always do.

Hopefully today will be less eventfull,
Super Lex xx

Bake - A - Thon

I know I haven't written for a few days so I thought know would be a good time to start as I mean to go on and try to blog as much as possible. Yet another good result at the dreaded weigh in this morning, 3 lbs off this week. This means I'm now at 2 stone 4 lbs lost in total.

This weekend has seen me bake more than I think I ever have in my life! I'm sure the neighbours think we're setting up some sort of black market bun dealers with the smells that have been wafting from under our door!

It all kicked off with a request for a cake for my youngest sister's birthday ready for Saturday night. I know I'm blowing my own trumpet when I say this, and I do apologise, but it was AWESOME!!!! (and yes it did deserve the capitals and exclamation marks). Her and Mr B have a bit of an "in" joke where she's called chocolate bear, so that's exactly what I made her.

The girl who served us at Franky and Bennie' said it was the most amazing cake she had ever seen, which made me grin like a loon!

We had a lovely family meal for her birthday, I even managed to stray from my usual safe bet choices at F & B's and had Salmon! No idea where that choice came from, but it was gorgeous!

Sunday was the grand trip into Leeds to get my latest charm from the holy grail that is the Thomas Sabo shop. I love the location of it too, it's in the Victoria Quarter which is my favourite part of the city centre. It's so beautiful, and such a stark contrast from the main shopping area. I do love a gorgeous building! It also helps that Vivienne Westwood's shop is in there, as is the side door to Harvey Nicholls! The fateful trip to the holy grail yesterday also meant that I stumbled across a shop that has become my new favourite place EVER! I have previously mentioned in my ramblings that is this blog that I love anything vintage/retro especially the fashions. Well this shop has the whole package! There's make up, pretty things, bath and body stuff, pretty things, jewellery, pretty things, and the most fantastic dresses I have ever seen in real life! Oh and did I mention the pretty things????

The search for the dress for the wedding we're off to in July is over! Just need to go closer to the time and see what size I am. That's another thing that's bugging me to be honest. I can't stand all this being between sizes! I know it'll be worth it in the end but it is just sooooooo frustrating!!! Managed to get a few bits for work from Primark yesterday, but could I hell find a summer jacket! I think that the British high street has forgotten what really happens during British summer time! Bring out the jackets please!!!!!!

I finished off the weekend with even more baking, this time for work. We are having a cake bake all this week in aid if the MS society. My baking day fell on today, so last night saw a very flustered Lex conjuring up delicious treats in the kitchen. Even though it's a bank holiday and there aren't many people in, we've still managed to raise a fair bit from what I can see peeking inside the money pot.

One thing's for sure, I've seen enough buns this weekend to put me off them for a good while yet!

Lex xxx